Secants and Tangents

Create your own Conversation Hearts!

During the past month so much has happened I do not even know where to begin. It started off badly with my mom in the hospital with some sort of chest pain. Fortunately she is out now and feeling a whole lot better. Unfortunately, the doctors did not really do their jobs and did not give her any diagnostic tests, so we are still in the dark as to what caused it.

Then, on my dad’s birthday, I was emailed by the head of the admissions committee at UCLA Statistics. I GOT IN!!! Not only that, I get all four years completely paid for, including housing! Finally, all of my hard work and sweat has paid off. I am still in awe with it all. My parents took me to Islands to get a drink and they gave me a balloon bouquet. My mom couldn’t stop crying. It was so cool having people call me, IM me, and send me cards congratulating me on my admission. My roommate Marc was so excited that he left me a note, an IM and even called me at work! The best part was having people congratulate me and shake my hand in the hallways of MS. Everybody (that matters) was happy for me…except for my other roommates, but at this point I couldn’t give a flying fuck what they think. Click here to see Admissions Paraphernalia Scrapbook on my main page.

I caught the really nasty flu that is going around and that put me out of commission practically all of last week. I was sick as a dog at the Stat Department Open House but fortunately I already knew most of the information. That night I made the mistake of walking to Westwood in the freezing cold and rain to join them for dinner at BJ’s. This is the second meal to which I have been treated by a UCLA department! When I got home, I had a fever go from 104 to 96 (no temperature) in a period of 3 hours. This went on all night. It was awful…and I woke up with this migraine that made it impossible for me to move my eyeball up and to the left. I am so glad that is over…

Stuff at my apartment has somewhat nosedived. The beginning of the quarter went ok, and it seemed as things might improve. Then somewhere things totally turned around, inside me. I don’t know. Part of it was receiving the drunken death threat and then never getting an apology from the fuckers for not telling me about it. There is other stuff that I cannot really remember, but something inside of me just gave up on this whole thing. The most important thing is that I really like my actual roommate – the guy I share my room with. The Rest Censored.

I never wonder why I want to spend more time in school for a professional degree. The answer is simple, I do not want to be like them, returning to my hometown to “chill” with my high school friends “just like old times.”

The only real pain the ass in February is Valentine’s Day. Ah yes, the day of everything material. My theory is that my generation does not understand what love is, and it especially does not understand what love is not. The funny thing is watching them pretend they know what love is. Watching all the guys walk down Bruin Walk with some pathetic excuse for a “bouquet” of roses. And watching all of the shallow couples fight about who slept with whose best friend the night before, as the girlfriend droops her solitary rose. A lot of people dress in red and the campus is an idiotic orgy of public tonsil-hockey. “Oh look at us! Look at us! We’re in love!!!” GAG ME. Come on people, let’s get real. Valentine’s Day is nothing more than a free fuck for all day. So whenever I wish somebody a happy Valentine’s Day, I like to add “Happy Celebrate-Your-Sex-Partner(s) Day!” Perhaps a single narcissist would buy himself a brand spanking new glove for his right (or left for you lefties out there) hand…

Candy Hearts for Singles

(Source: TheAlmightyGuru.com)

And finally…

Did you forget to get your sex partner(s) a card? Try one of these!

(I apologize girls…most members of my species [including myself] won’t even read the message on them)