Secants and Tangents

If it’s one song that I hate it is Auld Lang Syne. How shallow is this? “May all acquaintance be forgot, and never brought to mind.” So I guess I am supposed to forget everything from 2005 just because it is a new year. Well, according to Sylvia Browne, 2006 is supposed to be a great year for Scorpio! Well, I hope it is true, lol.

If New Year’s Eve is any indication of what is in store for 2006, there’s no doubt that this is going to be a “weird” year, whatever that entails. Perhaps I am just being superstitious but here are some reasons why:

• Dick Clark, the voice of New Year’s Eve in Times Square, can hardly speak since suffering a massive stroke.
• Regis Philbin was no better as none of their microphones worked.
• The first live performance in Times Square in years was MARIAH CAREY. Yuck!
• Stephanie Edwards, the queen of Rose Parade hosting, was ousted by some ugly boring drone on KTLA. Stephanie had to sit down in the pouring rain and do absolutely nothing during the parade since her parade program containing all of the trivia was destroyed by the rain.
• “Rockin’” New Years Eve was boring as hell.
• Rose Parade was held on January 2nd because January 1st fell on a Sunday.
• It POURED on the parade for the first time in 50 years.

So if we assume there is a 1/50 probability of rain on the Rose Parade and the Rose Parade lands on a Sunday with probability 1/7, we won’t have to deal with such a shitty parade until 2356.

As for resolutions? I have none. Resolutions are overrated, and so is New Year. But as always I am working on not being so hard on myself or others…just not today.

I spent New Year’s Eve day at Sunset Rec where of course the building sup didn’t show up to open the facility, so I sat in my truck until somebody showed up. I could not believe how many people came to swim on a cold and rainy holiday. I had a furry friend with me too - a squirrel. He sat on the ledge outside of the window during my entire shift.

At one point he got brave enough to run through the window into the office and snatched one of my cookies and ran outside to eat it. After that he snuck into the office a couple more times and got stuck on the floor of the office once until I returned. He got so scared he jumped from the floor to the desk and out the window.

Anyway, I am off of my bitch bag now.